Life dictates that you either belong to one thing or another:
Male or Female
Fat or Skinny
Tall or Short
Smart or Dumb
Loud or Quiet
Introvert or Extrovert
White or Non-White
The list can really go on forever, however it extends beyond just an outward label.
Everything in life is dictated by the camp that one falls into: the type of movies you like, the type of magazines you read, the types of toys you play with, the type of music you listen to. Everything is binary: this or that. There is no room for a middle.
You are either a boy or a girl.
You are either this or that.
You are either the best or the worst.
So, what happens when people break free of the binary and operate on a sliding scale? A continuum of experience and existence? A varied life full of fun and adventure? What happens when somebody doesn't fit into the binary system that has been created by society?
What then?
They are forced to choose. They are ostracized. They are shunned. They are beat. They are killed. They are forever damaged by the world that they so long to be a part of. Just because they don't fit into this or that. They fit into something else… the or perhaps is where they live. Forever in flux between this and that; forever flowing through life as if there are no boundaries as to who they can be; forever being themselves in a world that doesn't appreciate truly being free to express anything.
The world is open to expression as long as it fits into the binary system: a boy can express himself as long as it's in a manly way; a girl can express herself as long as it sexual and appealing to men; a smart person can express themselves as long as they never slip up and have a brain fart. Heaven forbid that we break character for even a second. Once you are grouped that is the role you play forever, unless you want to be kicked out of life forever!
You break character, you no longer exist.
You break character and the ones who had your back, your bros, your girlfriends, will leave you. You will stand alone in the middle of your once heralded life wondering what went wrong, and the answer is you. Society gave you a character to play, and you decided that it wasn't the right fit; figured you'd try something else on for size… wrong! The binary of life dictates that you are either this or that: no room for change, no time for negotiation—the world is moving on with or without you. The world doesn't need you to keep the cogs of life rolling, but just the opposite is true—you need the world to merely exist.
The binary of life can't be escaped, unless of course we change the way we see the world. Instead of having two categories for everything, can't we all just get a long and freely express what we feel?
Nope.
The system would implode and the world would come to an end.
The world forbid gay people get married.
The world forbid cops stop shooting unarmed black people.
The world forbid we can all just be ourselves and live according to who we are on the inside.
No more hiding. No more shaming. No more pain.
If a guy wants to look at a crafting magazine, he should be allowed to without having to defend his masculinity to his bros. If a gal is interested in heavy artillery and hunting, she should be allowed to shoot big guns and kill animals without having to pose with the guns in a bikini to defend her sexual availability. It's okay to have varied interests, it's okay to do what makes you happy, and you shouldn't have to defend yourself to anybody—especially not the world.
The binary of life dictates everything, but it doesn't have to. It gets its power from us, the ones who buy into the ideas it stands for. The us and them mentality; the other; those people; the lesser; it's all the same just different contexts. We buy into it, we support it, we give it life and eventually it takes over. We have to fight, we have to stand together and say, "No more!"
Boys will be boys, but what that looks like doesn't have to be the same across the board. Some boys are into poetry and coloring, while others are into mechanical things. Boys will be boys, and they should be allowed to be whatever boy they feel they want to be at that moment.
Let toys be toys; let colors be colors; let boys be boys; and let girls be girls.
It's going to be okay… even if boys wear nail polish!
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